My plain life

trying something different

The Memoirs of an ordinary man — October 1, 2016

The Memoirs of an ordinary man

DAY ONE-part 2,
Well I am at work now and so far it appears to of been a very quiet day. Let’s hope it stays that way.
Tonight I decided to walk to work and chill out walking and listen to music. Tonight on the way the clouds are so dark and grey. It looks like they could burst open any time now. The temperature is quite warm as well, I am working in a T-shirt and I am starting to sweat, nice.  Walking through town, I see a lot of people out for the night. Some people look like they have had enough already, walking all over the place and the way they were talking to their friends. To me being sober I find it funny seeing drunks. 
I do enjoy my job on security it is a busy but nice job. The team I work with are cracking. Phone calls for items lost, people parking in bad places and paper work, lots of it. 
Well I will see how the night goes and if anything fun happens I may let you lovely readers know. Please feel free to read and comment, but if you going to be nasty don’t leave horrible comments. In new to this. I hope everyone has a good night, evening or morning depending where you are. Stay safe readers. James signing out for now. 

The Memoirs of an ordinary man. —

The Memoirs of an ordinary man.

DAY ONE,
With waking up to the stupidity of some selfish person revving their car out side at 07:25 I feel I may not be going back to sleep. “Thanks very much”, I won’t write what I was really thinking. Once awake it means get your arse out of bed, so up I get and put on my running gear. You never know it could tire me out and I might be able to fall back to sleep….. who am I kidding. 

Whilst out running I can feel that it is trying to rain but just not getting there. Thinking to myself “hold off until I get home”. Out and about is none, only one or two people who look a state and appear to be returning home from the previous night out. I think I manage about 4-5 km on my run which isn’t to bad I think. 

After showering and having breakfast which consisted of strong kenko coffee and two slices of whole meal toast with pate and salami while watching the news. Dam the coffee is to strong even for me. 

Whilst it reaches lunch time I needed to get some food for tonight as I am working a night shift in security. I have decided to have courgette made into noddles, fried on a pan. With that I’ll be having chicken fried in a pan and spiced up a little. That should be enough looking at the amount I have. During the night it will be lots of ginkgo tea and coffee to keep me awake. At the moment I am getting ready to go back to bed. As I need my sleep. I won’t say beauty sleep as there ain’t enough time in the world for that. 
I will put some more up when I get ready for work and by the morning. Hope you start to read my writing. By the way if you notice mistakes be nice about it as I am not a professional writer. I am just trying something different. As time goes by I will put more things up and pictures as well. 

ENJOY

They exist 2 — September 29, 2016

They exist 2

Short collaboration story from inkvite

Now we stopped swimming she lets go of my arm and immediately I feel like I need to get my breath. When she see my panic she grabs me again and it feels like I can breath. I smile and find if I open my mouth I don’t take in water. I say that I understand and nod to her.    

   She smiles back and we swim through the kingdom. We arrive at these golden gates that loom over the citizens. She says something and the gates open. Once we swim through the gates and I see that we are heading towards a huge castle like building. She tells me that we are going to see the King, her father. It still amazes me that I can hear and talk under water. I could get used to it. 

   

   We swim through the doors and we stop in front of a throne. The king swims up to me, his face stone like. He looks me up and down, circling around me. “Pah! He will not serve as a good king.” He turned around and I looked at her puzzled, she turned away pink faced. ” but he is the only one that has lasted this long with one of us father”. I looked at her and said “father”. She nodded ” yes, I need to chose a husband and legend says he will be a human and pass the tests”. No I start to get worried. I look at he as in ” what the hell”? 

   

   He fumed, talking to himself, pacing back and forth the long corridors. Finally he stopped and turned his heel to face me, only inches away. I gulped as he sniffed me then circled me. He poked, sniffed, and looked at me. The girl shifted nervously, I got nervous. The king looks at his daughter and says “he is to scrawny and he will not survive the test”! Now the mermaid looks angrily at her father and says ” you told me to choose, I chose now you dismiss it”. I step forward and ask if I have a say in what’s going on. The king and his servants take me away to a room before I finish my question.

   

   “Let go of me!” I panicked thinking they were taking me to a dungeon or something. They stared forward blankly, and threw me in my room, which was surprisingly beautiful. “How did I get here..?” I asked myself. 

James 4 — September 26, 2016

James 4

While the sun went down and I leave the building under Drax’s supervision and guidance I feel so excited. We walk up the Main Street side by side. As we walk I can smell and hear the humans blood pumping through their veins. Drax says “calm your thirst, even we are out in the open we must remain invisible”!    Drax starts to explain about being a vampire and drinking to survive in this society without being found out. “If you drink, you drink it all, no witnesses”. But….. I look at him as if what. “There is one or two places that humans go for money to feed us blood. But we only take a pint out of each person and never kill them”. 

   I ask him about what would happen if they spoke about it. Drax didn’t say anything he just ran his finger across his throat. “OK” I respond. I pass one homeless man begging by an old burnt out cafe. I sniff and think “man his blood smells sweet”. Drax crabs me by the arm and pulls me down an alley a few feet away from the beggar. Drax looks at me and his eyes turn orange and gold and shiny. His teeth start to show and his forehead becomes bumpy. I step back and get ready to fight Drax even though I know he could kill me. “Relax James, the beggar is your first kill”. I relax and breath deeply in relief. “I will draw the beggar away and while I stand near the alley way you come up behind him and drag him up here”. I look at Drax as I try and make it all sink in. “James….James, do you understand”. “Yes, let’s just do this” with that Drax walks off and now my adrenaline is pumping and I’m excited about it. The hunger is driving me crazy. I can hear Drax talking to the beggar, he is asking him if he would like to join him for a meal. The beggar sounds like he is agreeing and wants to join him. I set my self up and hide in the shadows. As Drax had said he stops by the entrance to the alley way and I slowly walk up behind the beggar. Placing my hand over his mouth I drag him down the alley way. He tries to scream but my hand muffles the sounds. Forcing him to his knees I look straight at him. 

   “Your eyes, there, there g-golden” 

   “Do it James, NOW” Drax commands. I bend down and sink my teeth into his neck with out thinking. The blood explodes into my mouth and it tastes like cold champagne but without the bubbles. Sucking hard the man shouts “help me, vampires, someone helllllp”. The beggar starts to flop and the blood starts to taste funny. Drax comes over and asks me to stop, “he’s dead the blood will taste like metal and dirt”. To my surprise Drax was write. I let go and watch him slump to the floor. I feel invincible from the inside. I want to do this again. Drax grabs my shoulder and tells me to dispose of the body. He will be over at the coffee shop over the road and he will wait for me there. I ask if he is going to help but Drax explains “a vampire must lean to dispose of his body count by himself” this is Drax law. 

   Picking up the body I feel that he is not heavy and sling him over my shoulders around my neck. I run to the end of the alley and come to a river. I put the guy in an old rag sheet that is covering some wood and wrap him in it. Placing rocks and bricks inside I toss him in the river. As I watch him sink fast I prey no one finds him near by. Rushing off to the end of the alley way I stop at the entrance and think. “I just killed a man”. This kind of saddens me but also doesn’t at the same time. Confusing thoughts rushing through my head. What to do. Stay and learn from Drax or go it my self. Drax sees me and stands up as if he knows what is going through my head. I suddenly hear his voice saying “don’t run, I’ll stop you. I can teach you to be a great vampire and hunt the evil vampires. We are the good vampires, we only kill to survive and not for sport”. I smile and walk over to him. Sitting down in the coffee he hands me a coffee and says to me “now the real training and fun begins. Are you ready for it”? 

Mermaids they exist  —

Mermaids they exist 

   Whilst swimming out in the sea at Bournemouth I suddenly felt an under current pull me under the water. I did manage to pull myself above the water luckily. As I got my composure I felt something brush past me. Stupid as I am I dived down to see what it was. All I could see was a something shiny glimmer, in the shadow of what looked like a tail. I generally thought it was a fish. So I ignored it and went back up.
The next time I went swimming, a current pulled me down and I couldn’t get back up. I saw the glimmer again, his time it swam to me. While I was under water I saw that this fish was actually a human, well so I thought. As it got close to me it was half fish and the top half was human, a female human. I swam backwards and as it grabbed me I tried to scream and all the air disappeared from my lungs. To my surprise “she” didn’t try to hurt me. She instead pulled me down, I panicked I was losing air! 

  

   I tried wriggling out, but her grip was tight on my trunks. After what seemed like seconds I thought, “So this is the end..” but instead right before I blacked out I saw a castle deep down below me. Soon after blacking out I woke in an empty room on a huge bed. I bolt up and there sitting at the end of the bed is the beautiful fish person. I look at her but she has legs?????

   ” I am on dry land, that’s why I have legs” she informs me. I look out the window, I see the sea, I see..a civilization of mermaids and mermans. I turn to her. “Is this a submarine?” She thinks for a moment. “Hmm..something like that, let me show you.” She helps me up and we walk out of the room. We come to a huge glass room with a door to the outside. “You stay close to me and you will breath just fine, but if you swim away you will drown”. Looking a little scared and shocked she opens the door to the outside before I have time to answer. I jump as I wait for water but instead it’s just air, I stare confused at her but she looks ahead and starts swimming, holding my arm dragging me along. Many whispers among the crowd. “Human.. what’s a human doing here?…huh?…who’s he?..” everyone stares but I look ahead at the clear water. We stop. 

The Reality is 3 — September 25, 2016

The Reality is 3

As I smelled the blood I turn my head and sense a person near by. I jump down from the tree and this hunger and animal instinct takes over me. My new friend follows me but at a small distance. I rush towards a small opening in the trees and see a man making a camp fire. I look at his worn out clothes and recognize him as the man chasing the wolf. I snarl and jump out of the clearing, without realizing it I turn to a werewolf and tackle him to the ground.   

   I snap my jaws at him, I form back to vampire and sink my fangs in his neck. His blood is flows through my mouth and then I feel it fill me with satisfaction. Once I am finished feeding on him I turn to my partner I crime and she is looking at me in shock. “What”? I say. 

   ” I have never known a vampire change back and forth to a wolf and vampire”. I look at her and I form my fangs back to look normal, my fur fades back into my skin. I zoomed back to the cave without another word, I felt her right on my heels.

   I stopped to a screech. Luke is just waking up. Luke rushes to his sister. ” Lucy, where you been”. I think now I know here name. Lucy says James is a ancient incubus, with this Luke looks scare but also happy as well. Lucy looks at me and says you can help us now we have you. ” what do you mean” I ask but he ignored me question. 

   

   Over the weeks I’ve been training with Lucy and Luke. Luke has been showing me moves how to fight when I form as a wolf. Lucy has been showing me the same thing but as a vampire. But none of them know how to control my forming. So in time I will learn about control of my forming. But for now I am to learn from a young boy who seems to know a lot about hunting as an animal (amazing) and a beautiful lady called Lucy on how to feed my blood thirst as a vampire. 

   Lucy tells me how powerful I will become. But I do not understand her, why do they always think that. One night, I was falling asleep when I heard hushed voices murmuring ahead. I crept closer and used my new hearing to hear their conversation. “The prophecy will come true, this boy will lead us to victory.” 

James 3 —

James 3

       Once I eventually wake up again feeling foolish, Drax is there sitting on a chair smoking and drinking a glass of red liquid. I slowly get up off the floor and see Drax. “Morning James “he says “how you feeling” I stand up and to be honest I feel great, thinking to myself. But then a sudden pain in my stomach which doubles me over. Drax explains that’s the hunger thirst. “Quickly drink this down” and he hands me a glass of red wine, well so I thought. It has an irony taste and it is thick and heavy in my mouth. Dam it, “it’s blood”, Drax laughs and says to me “welcome to your first day of being at the top of the food chain”.    I feel the pain subside and I feel amazing, healthy and strong. I feel like I could take on the would. Even though I have just drank the blood I still feel week. ” I don’t feel brilliant I feel week” I say to Drax. He explains it will take time as I am a new blood. Drax walks over to me and rips open his wrist and puts it up to my mouth. “drink” he demands in a stern voice. I slowly keep eye contact and drink from his wrist. WOW this rush hits me and I grab his arm tightly and drink like I never drank before. After five minutes it has made me feel like I am on a big rush. Drax pulls his arm away, well so he thought. I wasn’t going to let him. “James, James” with no response from me he punches me in the head, to force me to stop. I drop to the floor, blood smeared all round my mouth and low cheeks. I look up at Drax and snarl at him, like an angry animal ready to pounce on its prey. ” you need to take it easy James when you are just feeding. Don’t kill your food if you want to use it again”. I sadly nod like a naughty child. I now feel like I could take on the would and my strength feels amazing and I can hear all sorts of things, things I never heard before. Buzzing of a fly, the talking of people outside just to name a few things. “I will teach you how to hunt first” you need to feed regularly but if you are not going to feed from one regular blood slave you must kill your prey as they will change. 

   Drax looks at me as if you cross me I’ll kill you. With the recognition I back up and look around the room. I see a t- shirt on a chair which I put on. No I’m ready to go out. Drax orders me to wait until it is properly dark outside so you don’t get seen. We need the shadows to hide in when hunting. Do you think that when it comes to it you can kill your first human prey. Me being cocky nods and answers “without a doubt I say” but Drax just looks and smiles at me. 

Three hours pass by and Drax suddenly stands and says in a haunting voice “it’s time, are you ready for this”, I look up and stand next to him saying “born for it”. We both start to leave the building with a rush of excitement running through me we are off. 

The reality is 2 —

The reality is 2

Once Luke and I was lost we came across a cave, and as it started to rain we went inside to shelter. We had been in there for a while when a big wolf came rushing in as if it was being chased. Suddenly a man came running in after and attacked the wolf. In the process I got bit by the wolf on my leg. Seconds later a dark figure zoomed through, I caught the glimpse of red eyes and fangs right before it sunk its fangs into my neck and grabbed the wolf zooming off. I sat in shock, unaware of my wounds. I blacked out.. When I woke I was in a lot of pain but the wound from the wolf had clear up. Luke was passed out with a gash across his face. It was from the wolf and not long after he changed as did I. I said to her “sorry to hear that” , scowling at me she replied ” why you sorry it’s not your fault.” She snapped. I felt hurt, why was she mad? She walked towards me and touched my wound. The idea of a real life vampire touching me sent goosebumps, the idea of the vampire being a girl sent me jumping. I raised an eyebrow she rolled her eyes and healed my wounds. ” What’s it like to be a vampire”? I asked her. “Lonely ” came a sad reply. As we started to talk I started to feel pain running through my body. She asked me “are you ok”? I started to scream, ” I’m burning up it feels like larva”. She looked at me and said ” you been bitten” panic rose up in me, I felt a sharp pain in my mouth, then a sharp jolt in my bones, my jaw and bones screamed in pain. I yelled in pain curling up in a shaking ball.   

   I felt my fangs bare out as I freaked out pacing back and forth. “I’m a vampire!” 

   Slowly the pain subsides and I try to move and with movement my joints start to crack. Painful as it was it didn’t bother me. I stood up and felt good in myself. Suddenly I had this hunger come over me. My new friend said “you need to feed, lets hunt” . Teeth a show and off , i try to keep up with her as she zooms through the woods dodging the trees at great speed. She bounces off a tree and up to a higher branch. I watch in awe and try to do the same. She grabs my arm and helps me to the top of the tree. I have this third sense, I sniff..blood. 

James 2 —

James 2

Short story from Inkvite 

Once I actually come around I could barely see out my eyes. Everything was out of focus and the light seemed to be very bright. A voices comes from my left side saying “your eyes will adjust in time, as will you other senses” . I sit up out of fright, because I can’t see anything just figures and shapes. “Who’s there, who is it” I ask in a panicky voice.    “I am the man that has changed your life. Made you more than a man”. Comes his reply. 

   “Still I don’t know your name” I ask carefully. 

   “Sorry forgive me I am Drax, I am you mentor, trainer or guide.” Drax says to me in an excited voice. I ask him “why are you my guide what am I doing here. Why does my neck hurt”. Drax tells me to slow down with the questions and everything will be come clear in the next few days. 

   I run my neck as I feels saw, as I rub it I feel a slight twinge in my neck by no wound. I know he bit me on the neck. It is starting to all come back to me. I said to him ” I remember that you grabbed me then bit me on the neck and then I passed out”. Drax darts over to me that quick I didn’t see him move. Drax is staring straight into my eyes and I can’t do anything but look into his eyes. Which are a weird shade of orange, plus the smell of cigarettes. I think about what has happened and what I have seen I think about it and laugh to myself. Drax looks at me and says ” what’s funny”. I look at him and shake my head saying, ” everything tells me your a vampire”. With this Drax backs away and smiles. “Welcome to the other side James”. With that he hands me a metal wine goblet and tells me to drink from it. I do as he asks without thinking about it. As it happens Drax comes across as a lovely bloke. 

   Handing back the goblet I feel a surge of power rushing through my body. This is very painful but also nice. “You have just drank my blood, now you will finish the change” , looking at Drax I feel a pain all over and collapse to the floor. My eyes have just focused back, now they lose it again. Drax tells me as I lay on the floor, ” just ride along with it, don’t fight it”. The pain gets so bad I pass out again. 
Maybe I need to toughen up instead of passing out all the time. 

   

   “You will be a new breed when you wake up. A stronger, faster and more intelligent being when you wake. Now sleep” Drax explains as I am laying the passed out again. 

James —

James

“Hi my names James. I want to tell you about my story”.    I am a bit of a loner when I lived in the real world. I was never happier than when I was by myself or just sitting in a coffee shop and watching people. The funny thing is, I don’t think anyone noticed me, just watching people. Some times I’d go to the coffee shop late in the evening as it closed around 23:00 most days. 

   Like I said I didn’t think anyone noticed me, until that night. I didn’t have many friends, but one man became a real friend, guide and mentor in time. As I watched people rush home from work or on the way to pubs or clubs I did notice one man across the street. He looked scruffy in clothing but something about his clothing I like. Kind of like Victorian but modern. He was there one minute and gone the next. When he was there he would be looking in my direction smoking a cigarette. The weird thing is I could see his eyes the most but they were a strange orange colour. 

   Once finishing my coffee I take me cup to the counter and say “thanks” the the waiter. Upon leaving I notice the man finishing his cigarette and squashing it out with his boot. I turn and walk off towards the side streets. For some reason I liked to walk down the quiet but spooky side streets. I suppose it’s because there are less people and it could be safer. How wrong was I. As I walked down it sounded like there was someone behind me but every time I looked , no one was there, just old news papers floating in the damp wind. The lights on the side streets were out but it didn’t bother me. As I walked the feeling someone was following me grew stronger. 

   Five minutes later I ducked down an alley way, the feeling of being followed disappeared. Much to my relief. Idid look back at one point and noticed a figure standing at the end of the alley where I had come from. I picked up my pace and like before he was gone. As I got to the end of the alley the man suddenly appeared and stood in front of me and smiled. With his smile he said “James, how are you tonight, this isn’t your usual way home”. 

   With that I asked him ” who the hell are you”? 

   With that question he just smiled and said ” you will find out in time”. 

   I tried to push past him shoving his shoulder out the way, I might as well have tried pushing a brick wall. With that push he grabbed me and saw him open his mouth and saw four big fangs coming out his mouth. Then a sharp pain in my neck. I could suddenly feel the life drain out of me. With I a few minutes I passed out. 

   

   This is how my new life begins. James will be no more. 

The reality is, 1 — September 24, 2016

The reality is, 1

Short story on Inkvite

There is another world we here little about but we see a lot of on TV and in movies. It is the world of werewolves and vampires. We all think it is safe outside at night but there are creatures lurking in the shadow worlds. The other day I happened to see a quick reality of this . A glimpse of a patch of fur wiz through the woods. A flash of white sharp teeth run through the woods. At first I thought I was imagining things. With all the stories about the forest. But yet again something rushed past me and this time I screamed at it. 

   This big creature stopped and stood on its hind legs turned and looked at me. I stood there frozen, in fear but excitement rushed through me. The wolf walked towards me, and sniffed me. A vampire girl came out of clearing “Luke where are you-” she laid her eyes on the wolf. “There you are!” She stopped in her steps when she saw me. She had pitch black eyes and hair, I recognized the sharp fangs. She was the one I saw running. 

   Even though I was scared I managed to crack a smile at the beautiful vampire girl. “Who are you, and what are you doing here”? She demanded. Looking at her I tried to act brave and said in a cocky voice “why do you own this forest”? The wolf snarled at me then turned to a boy and stood beside the girl. My heart sank. “Relax were siblings.” The boy grunted, a sigh of relief washed through me. 

   

   The moon began to fall and the sun cracked through to the sky. The boy walked off, the girl winked at me then followed. I followed them just to see. The woman spoke to me and appeared to be as human as me. I asked about being a werewolf but she turned and scorned a look of death at me. ” I’m not a werewolf, I’m a vampire” 

   I apologised and asked how did she become a vampire and her brother Luke became a werewolf. She sighed and sat down on a tree stump, while Luke curled up beside her. “It started when we were just kids, in these forest.” Her voice sounded hushed as if someone may be listening. “I was in this forest with Luke.. 

The Reality —

The Reality

Another collaboration story from Inkvite 

After a dream of being chased through the streets of London by a crazed man with a sword. I wake up in a hospital bed. At the foot of the bed I a nurse with a clip board staring at me. I look around and notice the windows are boarded up with a wire mesh. “Morning, about time you woke up” she smiled. “W-what happened?!” I asked sitting up. She pushed me back down. “Eh, easy there.” She pointed to my bandaged head. I held my head and laid back down. “What happened..” I ask slowly. “I don’t know ask the doctor when he enters.” She put the clipboard down. And with that she left the room. I try to get out of bed but one of my hands is cuffed to the bed. In walks a man dressed in black with a mask of a clown over his face. Wired I know but it makes me jump to a crouching position on my bed. As I do this the man changes to the doctor . He didn’t look “professional”. I tried moving but the cuffs were tight. “Sir please stop.” He said calmly. I stopped. “What happened? Why am I here?” He remembered the girl. “Where is she!” I struggled again. “Sir calm down!” He assured me. I shook my head refusing to let go. He threatens to inject me with a syringe he had in his hand if I didn’t calm. So as a good man I stopped. Next thing I know the room starts to change but the doctor notices this too ” shit, already ” he mutters. I look at him confused, as the changes happen he attempts to inject the syringe but I kick him off. I break free from the cuffs and run into the corridors. I see the girl run out into the same corridor, for a second we lock eyes. Then everything fades away, then I don’t see her anymore. The surrounding has changed and now I am back in the streets of London and now the man with the sword is standing there grinning. He shouts at me ” welcome back”. He looks like the man who was the doctor. Plus does everyone know what’s going on but me? I start to run off up the streets. It was so empty, as if it was just me and him. I fell as he lunged at me, taking me down. He stabbed his sword down and I moved my head aside. I heard a distant scream. I kicked him off and ran towards the shrill scream. I found the girl with the nurse who had a knife. 

The Book —

The Book

I have written a short story from Inkvite. A collaboration 

I have just found a fantastic library in this deserted house. I broke into the house as it was stormy and raining very heavy outside. It’s OK , no one has lived hear for years. Looking through these books, waiting for the storm to pass, I come across a book called ‘The Book’. I picked up the book out of curiosity. I turned the page and everything around me faded away. It was as if I was in the story. With every word I began to understand, this story, this book, these characters. I was so fascinated by this, that I came everyday to read this book. 

   I would set the library up for my comfort, when reading. When I read The Book it felt as if I was going to another place. My surroundings changed, my worries disappeared, all my thought changed as if I wasn’t controlling them. Could a book really do this to you? 

Change ? 

   It was the end of the day, I was heading back to the library. I found the door wide open. A girl, who looked my age was reading The Book. She must’ve heard me, for she got up and ran away…with The Book. “Hey!” I yelled scampering after her. 

   “I’m not going to hurt you, I just want to read The Book” ,I called after her.

   With this she stopped at a distance from me and said ” what do you know of The Book” ? 

   I tried to explain but my words were getting jumbled up and she starts to laugh at me. With this I look away humiliated. “You know nothing-” “No!” I cut her off, she gave a stunned look. “All I know is that it takes me away from reality, my worries and troubles…vanish and-” “It’s like your in the story..” she says softly running her hand over The Book’s ancient looking cover. 

   ” what’s say we read the book together”? I ask her. 

   ” As long as we both hold the book at the same time” she says with an untrustworthy look. I give her a nod and we go back to the library and sit down. As she starts to read the book out, things start to happen around us , the world fades away as before but this time it’s even more powerful. I give a quick glance at her, her crystal blue eyes were focused on the words, her blonde hair began to float above her shoulders. I looked around and realized we were floating. I put my hand in the book. 

Take a look at this video.  — September 16, 2016
Everyone should cover up their laptop webcams right now, says FBI director James Comey – The Independent — September 15, 2016
Your Thoughts  — August 29, 2016
Thoughts —

Thoughts

I’m sitting here and wondering about how much the public understands about mental health issues. 

I was out with a patient the other day and she wanted to get a bus into town. Which is only a ten minute walk into town. She had never taken a bus before, part of her exposure was to travel on a bus. So on the bus we sit there and there is an old person that keeps looking at my patient and her scars. This upset my patient. After speaking to her she calmed down. 

My point is, the public no matter how old they are, needs education. 

The patients have been through enough in their lives. It makes it even harder when the public look and judge their scars, which makes it appear that they are judging them. 

So more public information teaching and training is needed. Companies like NHS, hospitals and nursing agencies and possibly day centres for the elderly need understanding. 

Just my own opinion. Just need someone to talk to them explain the possible reasons behind the self harm and scars. 

Please leave comments and opinions 

Writing  — August 24, 2016

Writing 

I have found that I really do enjoy writing. It could be about anything from stories, pure fiction, everyday observations or just little rants. 

The other month I started to buy a magazine called Writers’ Forum


I have found this magazine a great help.  It is full of brilliant advice, with information on competitions, courses, printers and editors just to name a few. 

This has inspired me to carry one writing my supposed novel. It’s difficult just to show someone what I have written for advice. The sort of thing that can guide me in the right direction. 

I know my grammar and punctuation needs work but I’ll get there in the end. What would be nice is selfish people taking to heart the things I write about when I write about mental health. People slate my writing…..it’s a story nothing else ok. I know what I am writing about I have work in mental health for over fifteen years. So if you don’t like what I have written, stop and don’t read any more. 

Little Rant — August 19, 2016

Little Rant

I have worked in mental health for a good few years. I have come across some great things and some  upsetting and disturbing things. I understand that some things are not under the control of the person involved. But it is when you come across that particular one that tries to fake it for an easier life sentence. 

I can deal with patients that are highly aggressive and want to hurt people due to voices and hallucinations. 

Give me a ward full of psychotic patients, and highly dangerous people. But when I get to deal with adults that say yes when you say no, who sit when you say stand. I love my job and that’s why I have done it for over thirty years. It is a great thing when you get a patient discharged to home or a lower secure placement. Home visits are the best emotional thing you can go through in nursing. 

You will learn how to deal with confrontation, aggression and your confidence will build a lot. You will build new skills and abilities while working in mental health. 

Driving — August 17, 2016

Driving

LITTLE RANT

It amazes my with the attitudes of some drivers, over in the UK. I had a journey the other week, driving across Europe and I drove about 980km one way. I drove through France, Germany and Czech Republic and border of Slovakia. 

There were times when you could hit high speeds on the German motor way. No one had any accidents or near misses, people were respectful of one another while driving. No honking of horns or road rage. I felt so much safer driving in Europe than what I do over here. 

Of course I drove the same way back and 27 hours later I’m back in the UK. As soon as I’m on the motor way people are tail gating, flashing their lights,like your in their way. I had one van nearly end up hitting my rear passenger side bumper. When I come into a city of the motor way I pull up to some lights and get some moron cut me up at the lights in a Larry. 

Come on people what is going on. We need to be a lot more respectful of one another while driving. People are in to much of a rush to get to places. If your running late try getting up ten minutes earlier. If you rush to much, accidents will happen. In the accidents it’s always the innocent ones that suffer. 

SLOW DOWN and BE NICE. 

Bad manners and Rudeness  — July 31, 2016

Bad manners and Rudeness 

Rudeness in people

It amazes me just how rude people are to each other. Don’t get me wrong I’m far from perfect and yes I may be a bit off at times. Surely there is no need for bad manners and rudeness towards people when there is no need.

Take the other day for example, I was coming to a coffee shop and at the same time a woman was about to come out. She just stood there in front of the door. I looked and just smiled. As I opened the door, before I had chance to say or do anything the woman come storming out. As I held the door she barged into me left side tutted at me and carried on her way. There was no thank you or apology from her. I just said you’re welcome and carried on in to the coffee shop.

There is no need to be rude and hateful towards anyone like the example above. Manners don’t cost anything. I saw someone pull over the other day to let an ambulance pass by and when it did a car from the back of the cue of cars followed the ambulance. The ambulance stormed off and the car carried on slowly up the road. This car got beeped by the cars and the drive just stuck his hand out the window and held his finger up to people. To me this is the height of arrogance and lack of social skills. Rudeness and selfishness to the max.

People go around thinking it is ok to be pure selfish and push this on to others. What happened to the days when people were nice to one another. Helped people out in times of need and difficulty. I bet if you went out in your local town and just smiled and greeted people, just being nice, how many would return the greeting in a polite way and how many would be rude and horrible.

People we need to wake up and get out of our own little bubbles and start noticing people by being polite and nice. Stop all this rude behaviour towards others. So what if someones beliefs are different to yours, so what if they are from another country, who cares if their skin colour is different to yours. We are all part of the human race, so why can’t we just start being nice to people.

That’s the end of my little rant. Hope you liked what you read

My ideal job, rant —

My ideal job, rant

Ideal Job

I often sit and wonder about what would be my ideal job. I have thought about many different types of work I could do, but the main thing that sticks in my head is something to do with writing.

I have written a few small articles on different types of fashion for men and women and I have had them published by an online fashion magazine and a modelling website. Big hurray for me. Plus I have started writing about little things that happen in life, which a lot of people seem to enjoy reading. I really would be interested in writing small articles for a news paper or online company about ‘the everyday’ stuff that goes on around the world.

The only thing is I am not a professional writer or novelist and my grammar and spelling could do with improvement. I am in the middle of writing about a man called Jack who works in mental health as a health care assistant. He mainly works in different hospitals over the country. It is all fiction and none or events actually happened.

So if I got any of these paid jobs so I could work from home or an office I’d be happy as Larry. Plus getting what I’m paid now would be good.

Any way people that’s my rant and dream for the day. Hope you all have a great day.

Idiot parking —

Idiot parking

It amazes me how many of us people can drive, some good and some bad, no ones perfect. But when it comes to people parking in front of a house on a terrest street, people lose there common sense. You come across people that park half way in a parking spot. People that feel the need to double park in a street that is small enough anyway. Then you get the selfish parkers that can’t park anywhere else but right outside their house. When doing this they will park right in the centre of a space that is easily enough for tw cars and leave nothing for anyone else. 

Come on people get your common sense together and think of being polite when it comes to parking. Plus you never see a traffic warden when you get stupid drivers parking.  

Well that’s my little rant done for now. 🤓

I wonder…. — July 27, 2016

I wonder….

This is not meant to offend or upset people. 

It amazes me in this world, how people will have babies. Then as they start to grow up the ones that are supposed to care, love, cherish and protect them turn round and commit horrific acts of violence of all sorts. They are small innocent CHILDREN for f#*+s sake. Then the children end up hurting themselves or others or even worse, ending it all. Why do people feel the need to do this to such innocence. 

Why leave you baby/s in a bloody car on a hot day. Even for a minute is stupid. Come on people think of the innocent ones before your needs 

Why…. — July 24, 2016

Why….

It amazes me that no matter what dipravity is going on in the world. People still find time to go and blow up restaurants, shoot innocent children, shoot people sunbathing on beaches and this is due to what? You can’t tell me this was not foreseen in the huge crisis of people fleeing other countries. Governments have a lot to answer for. It’s just my opinion. Not meant to offend anyone. If I do sorry. Where are the weapons and money coming from ? I’d like to know

What If ??? —

What If ???

I am not a man of big action or bravery but what if people tried to overtake where I live. What would you do? Is it not long before Great Britain  starts to see this trouble.

I would love to work for a company? who tracks down the trouble makers and arrests them.

It is getting to the point we see on the news now that every week we are seeing attacks on the innocent people, people of the world with no defence getting killed and slaughtered.

Enough on this now.

I am a peaceful man and help out people that have troubles in the world, whether it be physically inputted or mentally. I have come across some distressing stories in my job.

What I write about is nothing factual it is all fictional, so if you are offended by what I write please don’t read or follow. I have had enough of people slating me saying I am a bully boy of mental health. People don’t know me or what I do for a living and I have a positive and good impact on people’s lives in my job.

Everything I write is pure fiction so please remember this, when you come to comment.

 

 

Question.  — July 22, 2016
Nowhere 2 —

Nowhere 2

As I am being help while Orion gallops along in the forest at an amazing speed it feels like he is gliding along. Out of nowhere there appears a huge ginormous tree, which looks totally out of place. It must be over a hundred foot tall and over three hundred feet round. Orion speeds up along with his companions,    

   “Orion, the tree, you going to hit the tree” 

 

   Orion starts to laugh as we get closer and closer to the tree. I start to scream, as I’m thinking he’s going to kill me. All of a sudden a brilliant light comes from the tree like a doorway into the tree. I screw my eyes shut, it is a bright light to be fair. When I think it is over I open my eyes and I am in shock. It appears to be another place I have come. Orion stops running and says we are here now. Orion turns to one of his soldiers and says, 

   

   “Tell Mother Nature we found the human” 

   

   “Sir” replies the soldier and he heads off in the other direction. 

   

   I remain in shock and mumble to Orion “where are we”?

   

   Orion laughs and says ” for now you only need to know you are nowhere” 

   

   “What the hell do you mean nowhere” I bluntly demand. 

   

   Orion just smiles and reaches out his hand as if to say walk this way. As we walk there are little winged people, to be honest they look like fairies flying around me. Buzzing in my ear as they fly by. Sounds like they are laughing too as if they are trying to tease me. I see more half fury humans like Orion and his soldiers. There are little, what appears to be men and women, but also looking like flowers wondering around me. But at a safe distance as in an animal sniffing out something inquisitive. I crouch down and sit on the floor so not to appear threatening towards them. I look up at Orion in amazement and wonder, it’s like something out of that film Firngulley or Arthur and the invisibles. 

   

   “Where is this place”? I ask Orion.

   

   “Nowhere” he replies. 

   Orion suddenly demands me to stand up. All the mystical creatures scurry away from me. Just as they were getting close to me. I look around and see a stunning beautiful woman. She is dressed in a long flowing Green dress and appears to have outlines of plants and flowers over her skin that is visible. This woman appears to be gliding along, not actually touching the ground. I look and stare at her at her amazing beauty. This woman keeps constant eye contact with me. When she gets to about five feet away from me she looks over at Orion, who appears to be bowing his head. Just like meeting royalty. I stand up and smile at the woman who says, 

   “I’m Mother Nature, pleasure to meet you Jon” 

   

   “How you know my name” 

   

   “We have been looking for you for a long time” 

   

   “S… So… Sorry what you on about”. 

   

   I look over at Orion and he looks back as if to agree with Mother Nature. 

   

   “What you mean I’m like a prophecy or something”? 

   

   Mother Nature and Orion both look at each other and nod in agreement with my question. So I ask her where I am and as predicted, 

   

   “Nowhere” 

   

   I ask “so this place is called nowhere”? 

   

   “Yes, we are between worlds, your would and three other worlds” 

   

   Sitting back down, as this is a lot to take in for me. Mother Nature asks Orion to take me to the lodge and let me relax and eat. 

   

   “Follow me” orders Orion. 

   

   I slowly get up and follow Orion to the hut like place with three walls and a huge window in the back wall. Open front as in no doors. Orion points and tells me to enter and eat. 

   

   ” Please stay Orion, I’m actually struggling to take in what’s going on” 

   

   Orion looks and smiles at me and enters the building with me. I tell him “thanks”. 
Written by Writer1710

Nowhere 1 — July 20, 2016

Nowhere 1

There has always been stories about how you should never go into the forest on you own, especially at night. I’m standing in front of the forest now, looking left and right but not managing to see the ends of the forest. The trees of the forest appear to be blocking my view when I look towards the sky. I think to myself that the forest didn’t look this vast from the edge of the field. Me being foolish enter the forest and look all around and all I see is trees, bushes blowing in the wind. But the was no wind out side the forest. Hearing the trees cracking and leafs rustling in the wind, sounds as well as moaning coming from the forest. Are the trees trying to tell me something?    I walk for about ten minutes and now it is getting just a little bit spooky in hear. But hey it’s just the wind in the trees right? The wind sounds like it is trying to make music in the air going between trees and bushes and with the echo , dam it spooky. Suddenly the wind disappears and silence. Not a rustle of leafs, a crack of a branch or a moan of a tree. Now this is even more spooky. Wishing I hadn’t bothered now I turn round to face the way I came but somehow it seems different. Panic starts to set in, maybe the stories are true about this forest. I hope I am heading back the way I came but now it sounds as if someone or something is following me. I pick up my pace a little, like I’m on a fast stomp. Rustling in the bushes is happening more and more. I know I’m being followed. Dam it I think to myself, why? The noise of being followed goes past me, I stand still and try to see what or who it is. I can barely see through the the thick vegetation of the woods. I take in a sharp breath in freight, what has ran past me through the vegetation is what can only be described as a man on all fours galloping. But the weird thing is he had fur over his shoulders and legs. But I only caught a glimpse of the man. I am really starting to get worried now. What the hell is that thing? 

   Running the other way I can hear it running back at me, “Oh bloody hell” I’m repeatedly saying to myself. All of a sudden this creature jumps out in front of me and screams “STOP” with fright I stop and start to shake with fear. This thing, this man? Is standing in front of me. Getting off all fours he stands up straight, he must be about 7ft tall. Fur over his shoulders, little on the top of his chest and covered in fur from the waist down. I was at least expecting hooves but no, just weird long feet. I look up at this man and give him a scared smile. 
“What are you doing in these woods? This is a sacred place”. 
“Just going for a walk” I reply. 
“Humans are not permitted to enter the woods, it is a crime to enter here”
“Crime on who”? I ask in a questionable manor. 
“Mother Nature”
“Why you laugh at this? ” he asks. 
I stop laughing as I think I may of offended him and just shake my head. This man thing says 

“I am Orlon, Mother Natures head guard. You must come with me” 
“Err no I don’t think so”

Orion grabs me by the arm and holds me tight in his arms. Off he gallops but this time on his hind legs. 

As we are rushing through the forest I see about ten other creatures all looking like Orion, heading the same direction. Where are they taking me???? 

Kickboxing  — July 19, 2016
Next story about Jack — July 17, 2016
Gruesome — July 16, 2016

Gruesome

Day Six

On arriving on the ward, Jack thought to himself that it is such a beautiful afternoon, why do I have to be coming into work? Why can’t I be at home chilling in the garden with his wife, having a cold beer?

Today Jack is working in a hospital south of Birmingham, working on a ward that is for female adult admissions, with a number of different diagnoses. It could range from things like eating disorders, alcoholism, hearing voices, just to name a few things on the ward. The ward is called The Firns, Acute Emergency Admissions.  Jack has in the past worked here before, but it has been a while, it must have been about three to four months. Since Jack has worked here the last time, things have changed a little. As in change, it is just the staffing has changed for a younger bunch of people. It appears that some of the older staff are no longer around. It could be, they have left for better things, moved wards or even retired. In environments like this, a staff change around can go one of two ways. A good way, as in the patients find it good, or a bad way as in it could unsettle the patients as some cannot deal with change.

Back to the story. With Jack walking onto the Firns, he sees the staff room and unlocks the door with his keys he collected from the receptionist. The door is heavy to push open as it is a thick fire door. Dropping off his bag off in the staff room he notices a free locker with a key in the lock. Jack places his wallet and mobile phone in the locker for safe keeping, as mobiles are not allowed in the clinical area. As he locks away his belongings he scans around the room. Jack notices a cheap coffee dispenser, chocolate machine, to the left of him is about four two seater sofas that look like they were saved from the 70’s. Also, there is a few cupboards basic white and a not so nice sink. Jack checks himself out in the mirror just before he goes in the office. Thinking to himself “looking presentable” he turns right and heads out the door. Opening the office door Jack walks in and greets the staff members sitting at the computers typing away madly. The staff swivel around in their chairs and greet Jack with a smile and the nurse furthest away asks

“Are you Jack”?

“Indeed, nice to meet you” replies Jack.

“Nice to have you here, I’m Sara, one of the nurses in charge”

Jack sits down while Sara is talking, giving Jack a detailed handover about the four patients they have on the ward. Three of the other patients have gone home on leave and may even get discharged when they come back. So they have a four relatively new patients. The one Jack has to pay attention to is a patient called Tabitha, known as Tabi. She is being nursed on a 1:1 nursing care plan due to her aggressive behaviour towards others. Tabi is an 18-year-old girl that has had a rough upbringing due to her mum and dad.

Tabi was subjected to witnessing lots of violent behaviour from her father and her mum. Then witnessing her mum stab, the father, a number of times on numerous occasions over a period of four to five years. The father had made Tabi kick and beat her mum after he had given her mum a real beating. He would brag Tabi by the arm roughly leaving bruises and drag her to her mum and demand, screaming at the top of his voice to kick her hard, stamp on her and punch her in the face. On the chance that Tabi did not obey her father’s commands he would take off his belt and whip Tabi with it.

There was one occasion when Tabi was sitting at the top of the stairs when she saw her mum came flying through the lounge door. Her mum had landed on her back with what looked like a mask of red paint on her face. Suddenly Tabi realised it was blood coming from a cut above her eye and nose, she had got from when her dad had punched her with his fist. Tabi saw her dad come bounding through the doorway over to her mum laying on the floor and then put his boot in a couple of times in the chest and stomach. As he continued to kick and then stamp on her, Tabi suddenly stood up while at the top of the stairs and had a huge smile on her face but still looking evil. The father noticed that Tabi smiling at the top of the stairs and demanded that Tabi should come down the stairs and do what he is doing. With this the father said

“You never know Tabi you may enjoy it”.

While saying this to Tabi, he grabbed his belt as if to gest as if he would beat her with it. Tabi stood there at the top of the stairs looking vacant and glassy eyed but still smiling. Tabi suddenly could not hear his father demanding and shouting at Tabi as she stares at her mum as she screams in agony every time the father’s foot connects with the mum’s body. Tabi starts to walk down the stairs vacantly, firstly looking at the father while he screams at Tabi, but still not actually hearing his voice. Then Tabi looks over at her mum who is now curled up on her left side screaming at every kick. As Tabi is walking down the stairs, it feels like the whole world has suddenly gone into slow motion. Once Tabi reaches the bottom of the stairs the father grabs hold of Tabi by the scruff of her neck who is standing in front of her mum, but still remaining deaf to his screams. The father raises his hand above her and brings it down slapping her around the back of her head.

Feeling her head shake Tabi now hears her mum scream and cry

“Tabi, what have you done? You killed him”

Tabi then realises she had blanked out while standing there and sees her mum crouching over the father and he had collapsed on the floor and lays on his side. The mum moves and Tabi sees a small metal object sticking out of his stomach oozing blood. Tabi just stands there watching the blood spill out onto the wooden floor.

Tabi says “He had it coming anyway, if not me it would be someone else” in a hardened deep voice.

Suddenly Tabi realises that she had no recollection of what had just happened to her dad. She had lost about five to ten minutes and could not account for anything. Tabi started thinking to herself,

“What happened”? And with that, she drops to her knees and lands in the blood oozing out of her dad and starts to cry.

Whilst Tabi is kneeling in his blood she hears a voice all around her saying “it’s OK now you’re safe”. Looking around to see who said that she says to her dad who is looking unconscious and says “What”?

In a questioning tone, Tabi’s mum says to Tabi “Who are you talking to”?

“Him “replies Tabi.

“But Tabi, he didn’t say anything, ” says the mum.

Then Tabi blankly looks down to the floor and starts to rub her hands through the pool of blood that has gathered on the floor where she is kneeling, with a vacant look on her face, grinning from ear to ear but at the same time starts to cry.

This is where all the violent thoughts and voices she starts to hear and the killing of little animals. The thing is if you grow up with evil and violence all around you that is the life you will start to live violence to protect yourself. Due to what happened to he, she was admitted to an emergency care order to a low secure child’s unit but due to the ongoing aggression, she has displayed in her unit due to finding herself getting close to staff. The aggression is to stop her getting hurt by people that care as it has happened so much in the past. Now she was transferred to a medium secure unit, The Firns. Tabi was transferred on a section 3, which means Tabi is detained under the mental health act for treatment. Her last placement could not manage the amount of aggression she was displaying so they transferred her to the Firns.

Jack walks onto the ward and walks over to Tabi and introduces himself to her. With a smile on his face and greets her

“Hi I’m Jack and I’ll be your nurse for the next few hours”, doesn’t cost to be nice to anyone.

Tabi looks Jack up and down with a look of disgust and mistrust. With this Tabi says in an angry tone to Jack,

“You look like my dad, he was a fucking Twat”.

“Sorry for the way I look, but you can blame my parents for that”. Responds Jack.

Tabi responds to this with a little smirk and says “Your OK, you’re funny”.

“At the end of my time with you, you will probably still think I’m a Twat” and smiles back at Tabi.

Then Jack sits down next to her at the dining table and watches Tabi play cards, Solitaire. Tabi sits there playing cards and every now and again looking at Jack, to which he has noticed but says nothing. In an intimidating tone, Tabi asks Jack,

“Did you get a full hand over about me”? As if it was a scary thing to hear, but this did not bother Jack, nothing new to hear. To play down the question Jack says to Tabi,

“Yes I have had a full handover and I know what you can and can’t do or have” and leaves it there.

Much to the disappointment of Tabi but acknowledging his response with a smile and carries on with her card game. After about twenty minutes Tabi turns to Jack and asks him for a book to read but in a more submissive tone,

“Can I have a book to read”? Smiling at Jack.

Jack turns around and calls a member of staff, Tabi looks at Jack as in why are you calling him over? Jack had noticed the look and automatically tells Tabi,

“I called her so she can get it while you are playing cards, that’s all”. Tabi gives a nod as in acceptance. Tabi asks for a book called Silence of the Lambs, and the staff member goes off to get it. To Jack he thinks is this a suitable book for a young lady that has violent outbursts but who is he to question the regulars? Five minutes later the staff member returns with Tabi’s book and gently throws it onto the table. Jack thanks the nurse for the book. Clearing up the cards Tabi heads off to the lounge area. Once entering the lounge Tabi and Jack sit in the lounge on one of the sofas. Due to the care plan, Jack has to sit next to Tabi within arm’s length. Arm’s length is because for the protection of others as in staff and patients. Tabi opens the book a third of the way through and starts concentrating on the book. Jack in a secretive way manages to read the back of the book and wonders if this book is good for a person of her mental issues. Whilst Tabi sits there reading her book, Jack watches TV but keeps an eye on Tabi. One of the patient’s starts to put a DVD on and now Jack find himself half watching 50 first dates. To be honest the film is a good and funny. Every now and again Jack does look over at Tabi and notices that she has an unnerving grin on her face while reading her book.

All of a sudden Tabi stands up and dropping her book to the side of her and hitting the floor. Tabi turns her head and gives Jack a vacant and blank look. The sort of look that is vacant, but if you touch me I’ll kill you, sleep walking. With this look, chills run down Jacks’ spine as it feels spooky and spine-chilling. Like a robot under the control of someone else Tabi turns her head and faces forward, then she gives an almighty scream and runs at the wall head first but aiming for the wall at the other end of the corridor.  Tabi gives out an almighty cry, scream and runs at the wall head first, like a charging bull. With this Jack jumps up and runs after Tabi along with another staff member. They both reach her and restrain her just as she is about to make contact with the wall and end up on a head on the floor. With the force of the two staff she stops dead in her tracks. With this Tabi loses her footing, with her body weight she loses footing and drops her weight pulling the staff and her to the floor. By this time other staff have come out of the office and see the two staff crumpled on the floor holding Tabi. The responding staff assist Jack and help take hold of Tabi in restraint and assist her in sitting up as she no longer is fighting with staff. Jack picks himself up and gets himself together, then he sits back next to Tabi as she is on the floor in holds with staff.

With this, Tabi has tears rolling down in her face and turns her head and apologises for her actions but she did not mean any harm towards anyone. With Jack sitting next to her on the floor he consoles Tabi and tells her that it is OK and there is no need for apologies. With this Jack looks at Tabi and says,

“You OK, do you want to talk about what’s going on”.

Tabi nods “Yes please” with tears running down her face.

Jack looks over at the two staff holding Tabi, giving them a nod as in nonverbal to let go of their holds. The two staff holding her let go of their holds but moving away so they are safe. The two staff move away a little, this is just so if anything unto wards happens the staff can step in for assistance. Tabi gets comfortable on the floor and sits next to Jack who is sitting next to her on the floor, leaning against the wall. Jack asks Tabi,

“So what happened”?

Tabi explains that she was reading her book, The Silence of the Lambs, and it got her having violent, gory, bloody thoughts and also got her aroused. Tabi had actually found herself getting excited with the violent action in the book that she was reading. When she started getting excited she blanked out then come to again and found that she had thoughts of killing animals or people. With these thoughts, she realised she had possibly killed animals in the past as her thoughts were so graphic. But these thoughts did excite her as well as upset her. In the past when she felt like this the voices would start to come back to her and they sounded like her dad, saying,

“Your worthless, you’re a naughty child. Look what you have done” with this she realises that she is not right in the head. Tabi explains that she is realising that watching and reading about violence excites her.  With this, her emotions and feelings plus her thoughts all over the place it gives Tabi violent ideas that are strong and because it excites her she wants to act upon her feelings, emotions or urges. Tabi explains to Jack that they are only urges and feelings, even though they excite her she is fighting not to act on them, plus she knows it is wrong too as well.

While Jack continues to sit and talk to Tabi, she turns to face Jack and says to him

“can I explain something to you please”?

“Of course, you can” replies Jack.

“I don’t want you to get frightened,” says Tabi.

Jack looks at Tabi wondering what she is going to say. Is this the point Jack should be worried and be prepared for something? Tabi looks at Jack then she looks down at the floor and then starts to tell Jack about her thoughts and urges. Tabi explains that because Jack looks like Tabi’s violent father, she wants to hurt Jack but this is due to the voices in her head.

“Ok,” Jack replies trying to look unnerved by this.

“I’m not going anywhere; you can tell me what you need too,” says Jack.

Jack explains to Tabi that he will sit there and listen to her and no matter what she says the nursing team will not judge her. In fact, it is a good thing that she can open up to someone and talk about what is going on with her and she will be praised. Along with talking about her thoughts

“This why you are here, the need to control your urges and talk about then”, explains Jack.

Tabi replies to Jack “I don’t trust staff, really”.

Jack sits there and they both get comfortable and get a cup of tea each while they sit there on the floor. Tabi stands up and Jack decides to follow. While Jack starts to stand up he feels his knees and hips start to crack and pop. Tabi starts to laugh at the sound of Jack’s joints cracking. Tabi turns to another member of staff and says,

“Steve, could you make me a coffee and Jack a tea please”?

Steve goes off to the kitchen and makes the drinks while Tabi and Jack walk off to the dining room and they both sit at the table. Tabi sits down and Jack sits opposite her across from the table. Jack sits opposite her as he hasn’t forgotten what Tabi has started to tell him.  It would be safe for him if there was a barrier between them. Jack tries his hardest not to look a little worried as Tabi may open up to him and this would not do if she notices him looking worried. Steve walks into the dining room and hands over one cup of tea and a coffee and says,

“Tea up, you two”.

Steve does not go far as there is another staff member needed as Jack can’t be on his own with a female patient. Tabi looks over at Steve and gives him a look as if to say, why are you standing there? With Jack noticing the look Tabi is giving Steve, he pipes up and explains that Steve is only standing there for both their protection. Tabi turns her head towards Jack and has a confused look on her face. Jack explains, it’s just so I don’t say or do anything untoward and same for you, so it’s protecting us both,

“Ok, I understand now” and smiles at Jack.

Jack starts to sip his tea while Tabi explains about the urges and thoughts she has towards Jack. Tabi explains the thoughts are violent, as in she wants to kill Jack and also she has urges to do sexual things to him once he is dead. Jack continues to sip his tea and tries to keep a deadpan face while she talks to him. Tabi continues to keep eye contact with Jack and notices the lack of expression change in his face and continues to talk to Jack with just a little smile on her face. Tabi reaches for her coffee and takes a few sips of her drink and continues to talk to Jack.

Tabi starts to explain that when Jack is not paying any attention in her direction, as in his back is facing her she will get something heavy and hit him over the head. Ding this, it will hopefully knock him out and then the blood will gush out of his head while he is collapsed on the floor. With the excitement of the blood all over the place, she will rub the blood onto her body. Once she has rubbed the blood into her clothing and over her face, she will then strip off and then rub more blood over her naked body covering her from head to toe. If she does not have enough blood she then will cut open Jacks stomach and dig her hands around in his stomach, pulling out his intestines and then rub his blood soaked organs over her naked body. Once she is covered in his blood she will strip Jack’s clothes off him so he is naked and she can see the blood rush from his wounds in his head and stomach. She will then sit on top on Jack and ride his manhood hard. Once Tabi has done this she will tape his eyelids open and with two fingers, dig them behind his eyeballs and pull them out and put them in his stomach. Tabi will do this one by one slowly so she can hear the tearing of the muscles in the eyes as they are ripped from the sockets. Once she has put both eyeballs into his stomach she will then push his intestines back into his wound and stitch it back up. Once she has done this she will go to the bathroom and have a shower and washed herself clean getting rid of the blood.

Once having a shower, she will then smash the mirror into pieces and make at least two pieces two inches by one inch and then place them into the empty eye sockets. Once the glass is put in place Jack will wake up and not knowing what has happened to him. Tabi then explains that Jack will see things more clearly physically and mentally. Every time Tabi looks at Jack she will see herself in Jacks’ eyes but Jack will also be able to see properly and not knowing what has happened. Jack will not know what has happened because she is such a great nurse and she will know how to make sure Jack never finds out.

Upon Tabi finishing talking she looks at Jack and Steve for their reactions but she doesn’t see any reaction in Steve. That’s probably because he wasn’t listening and was more interested in chatting to a female staff member. Jack is still drinking his tea but has nearly finished and puts his cup down and asks Tabi,

“How do you feel now after explaining your thoughts”?

“Excited, I think” explains Tabi with a naughty smile on her face.

“Why do you feel excited”? asks Jack.

“Things like this excite me” replies Tabi with a little of embarrassment in her face.

Finishing their drinks, Jack takes his and Tabi’s cup and hands them to Steve.

“Cheers matey, a good cup of tea there,into,” says Jack.

Turning round Jack says to Tabi “Come on let’s go watch a film in the lounge for a while”.

With this Tabi stands up and follows into the lounge and sits on the sofa. Steve calls over to Jack and summands him to the nursing office, Jack responds with sticking his thumb up. Jack turns to Tabi and says,

“Excuse me a minute will you” with a smile.

Tabi looks up at Jack and smiles and nods at the same time. Jack walks off to the nursing office and Steve explains, that because what Tabi had told him he will need to make an entry in the nursing notes. Steve also says to Jack that he would go and sit with Tabi in the lounge until he is done with the notes. Jack spends the next hour writing in her nursing notes, he does this on the computer and starts to get square eyes. One of the qualified nurses requests to read what Jack has written, not because she doesn’t trust Jack but so she knows what was said and what is going on with Tabi. After she has read Jacks notes the nurse stands up and shuts the office door. With shutting the door, she puts up a scruffy hand written sign saying DO NOT ENTER. The nurse sits back down and lets Jack know that the report is a very well written detailed report. Jack smiles and thanks the nurse.

“Tell me how this makes you feel, what she has said to you”? asks the nurse.

“Don’t know really, a little freaked out I suppose, but I can deal with it” replies Jack trying to appear tough. The nurse looks at Jack in a way of saying I don’t actually believe you. Jack notices her questioning look and responds with a smile and says,

“I’m fine, honestly”

“Ok then if you’re sure” responds the nurse.

With this Jack gets up from his swivel chair and walks over to the door and opens it and walking out he turns left and wonders off in to the lounge where they are watching a film. Jack stands in the door way and watches what film they are all watching. It appears that everyone is watching SMURFS. With this Jack sits down in a spare chair and watches the film as well. Jack looks at his watch and sees it has already come to 19:00 and it will be time to leave soon. The nurse comes out of the office and says to Jack,

“Sorry I forgot to ask you, could you do a few hours tomorrow for an escort please”?

“Yes sure I’m free tomorrow” replies Jack.

“Brilliant be here for 10:00 and it should only take a few hours” responds the nurse.

After that he is please for more hours but in regards to what he was told by Tabi he needs to get home and unwind to his wife on Skype. Maybe get a bottle of wine on the way home as well. With the shift tomorrow he can’t wait to see what this will bring for him. To be fair it has not been a bad afternoon shift just a little mentally draining.

Story about Jack.  — July 3, 2016

Story about Jack. 

Next few days I’m going to be doing my next episode about Jack. Nearly finished this one. 

Struggling to think of a title. I am open to ideas. The story is about a man called Jack who works in different Mental Health hospitals. It is the possibility of what he could come across. All fiction. So any ideas for a title would be great fully received. 

Have thought of. The Crazy world of Jack.  Memoirs of Jack. Diary of a Health Care Assistant ?????

Great read  —
Jack.  — June 26, 2016

Jack. 

I have just finished next story on Jack. It’s just a day off and what he gets up too. Nothing exciting but I think it’s on. Anybody wants to read it. I’ll email it and let me know what you think. Please 

Next one for Jack — June 24, 2016
Jack — June 21, 2016
Schizophrenia — June 20, 2016

Schizophrenia

Paranoid schizophrenia
If people do know about schizophrenia then this is the subtype they are most likely to be most familiar with. This involves systematized delusions or auditory hallucinations. They suffer from delusions of persecution, grandeur, control or jealousy which are often complex and which are often completely comprehensible.

They seldom display severely disorganized behavior, incoherence or loose association, they don’t e experience flat or inappropriate emotion – their demeanor is more formal and intense.

Disorganized schizophrenia

This can be characterized by silliness and incoherence, giggling or grimacing without any apparent reason. Extreme sensitivity to internal cues and extreme insensitivity to external cues means their behaviour is often seen as bizarre.

Like paranoid schizophrenia, disorganized schizophrenia involves delusions or hallucinations, though this time they tend to be focused on the individual sufferer and their bodies. For examples they might believe that their intestines are dissolving. Within this type, patients may also ignore personal grooming such as forgetting to shower or brush their hair.

Catatonic schizophrenia

Here, the defining features relate to motor behaviour. Patients frequently have frozen body postures, staying even in the most uncomfortable looking postures for a long time. They may also exhibit very excited movement, look agitated, resist control and look to be dangerous to themselves. Once again they might suffer hallucinations or delusions, often during these frozen episodes. These tend to focus on death and destruction.

Residual Schizophrenia

This is defined by the absence of such as delusions, hallucinations and incoherence exhibited by the previous three subtypes. Ins there place there are normally 2 or more symptoms such as marked social isolation, very peculiar behaviour, serious impairment of personal hygiene, flat or inappropriate emotional expression, bizarre thinking or unusual perceptual experiences

 

 

Undifferentiated schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is so difficult to pin down even into these subtypes, so professionals are left with a final category used to group those who don’t easily fall into any of the above.

WHAT IS IT?

Schizophrenia is a chronic, severe, and disabling brain disease. Approximately 1 percent of the population develops schizophrenia during their lifetime – more than 2 million Americans suffer from the illness in a given year. Although schizophrenia affects men and women with equal frequency, the disorder often appears earlier in men, usually in the late teens or early twenties, than in women, who are generally affected in the twenties to early thirties. People with schizophrenia often suffer terrifying symptoms such as hearing internal voices not heard by others, or believing that other people are reading their minds, controlling their thoughts, or plotting to harm them. These symptoms may leave them fearful and withdrawn. Their speech and behaviour can be so disorganized that they may be incomprehensible or frightening to others. Available treatments can relieve many symptoms, but most people with schizophrenia continue to suffer some symptoms throughout their lives; it has been estimated that no more than one in five individuals recovers completely.

This is a time of hope for people with schizophrenia and their families. Research is gradually leading to new and safer medications and unraveling the complex causes of the disease. Scientists are using many approaches from the study of molecular genetics to the study of populations to learn about schizophrenia. Methods of imaging the brain’s structure and function hold the promise of new insights into the disorder.

Authorhouse Scam — June 15, 2016
Epilepsy — June 12, 2016

Epilepsy

In this article, I am going to try and bring some awareness on Epilepsy.  I know a little about this as when I was in my early twenties I suddenly started having seizures after a night out with friends. It all started when I was in a night club one weekend, I was having a drink and went to the toilets and when I came back I finished my drink. After about ten minutes I started feeling dizzy and started to stagger around the place and this was only after two or three pints. My friends told me that the door supervisor took me out on the balcony and then he sat me down. The next thing I know I’m waking up in the hospital. I was informed that I had a seizure on the balcony of the night club and the door supervisor had called an ambulance as my friends had said that I had never had a seizure before.

I soon learned how to deal with the onset of seizures and how to reduce them.  Before I would have a seizure, I would start to feel angry over the slightest little thing and argue of silly things. Soon after this I would start to appear drunk and stagger everywhere. As I use to work in a hospital the nurses and some of the doctor would recognise what was happening to me and get me to a safe place and help me relax and if it was too far gone they would treat me with medication such as Diazepam. I learnt that getting into a quiet, darkened room and spray lavender where I was laying.

As it has been a while since I have had a seizure and it must have been over 14 years since I have had a seizure and been medication free for 13.5 years. I started to read about Epilepsy since then. I will put up some facts and figures on here but they may be a little dated so please don’t take what I write as fact, things change in time.

There is about 1,000,000- 2,500,000 people may develop epilepsy in their lifetime.

There is roughly about 250,000 – 500,000 with active epilepsy.

Each year there will be about 10,000 – 35,000 will develop epilepsy every year.

Epilepsy could occur due to an injury to the brain, whether it is due to a brain injury, Infection to the brain, Stress related incidents, Drugs and alcohol just to name a few reasons.

The brain works on electrical impulses that fire from nerve cell to nerve cell and at times due to whatever reason, they miss fire and don’t connect to the right cell. This courses a miss fire and this will make the body have an epileptic seizure.

There are roughly 40 different types of seizure with not one being the same, there is something different in each one no matter how small the difference is. It could range from one limb jerking differently of random involuntary movements. Every one’s seizures will be different to another’s even though two people may be diagnosed with the same Seizure type their seizures will be individual.

 

Partial Seizures

–    Simple partial seizures.

–    Complex partial seizures

–    Secondary generalised seizures.

Generalised Seizures

–    Absence seizures (petit mal)

–    Myoclonic seizures

–    Clonic Seizures

–    Tonic Seizures

–    Tonic-clonic seizures (grand mal)

–    Atonic seizures

Just because a person may have a seizure in their lifetime it does not mean that they have epilepsy. If someone has concerns about this they should go to their GP and talk to them about them. The person should keep a diary of when these events happen. It should contain when they started and finished, what happened during the seizures and how long it took to recover and hand this to the GP. You can request to be passed over to a specialist in Epilepsy as well.

If you do have seizures, don’t let it run your life. You can take full control or partial control of the seizures. If you do end up going to see the doctors he may send you for one of three scans, not to worry about this as they don’t hurt, they could be an MRI scan magnetic resonance imaging, A CT scan computed tomography or an EEG electroencephalograph.

For more information on Epilepsy, you could contact National Society for Epilepsy, British Epilepsy Association. You can also contact your local hospital for local groups and information on epilepsy.